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There are a few lessons I’ve learned so far before becoming a parent. 1) People, whoever they are, however smart they are, wherever they are will give you advice about how to raise or take care of your baby. A lot of it… are things that a certified nurse is telling you the complete opposite to do.  2) My life will never be the same again, and it’s a good thing. I’m not sure why people always have to add “and it’s a good thing” after they say, “It’s going to change your life forever.” Once people here that you are pregnant everything bad about children and babies comes out through the whole of history. It makes you wonder why people even have babies or that the Shaker movement never became more popular.

3) I’m not sure what stage of raising a child is the most difficult. Is it taking care of a newborn, getting through the terrible 2’s, trying to teach a child how to behave in the world, trying to keep your pre-teen from stalking the latest pop idol, or hoping your teenage doesn’t burn down the town? 4) Babies don’t come with instructions or warnings which is strange considering everything else does in the world. 5) People have literally run out of names for their babies. When and why did people start naming their babies apple or seven? Seriously? Would you want that name? Unique? Yes. Stupid? Even yesser!

In the end though, the best way to figure out your child’s name is to test it out. While camping in Illinois a few years ago, a father taking his children camping on his own was having some trouble. Across the camp road all you could hear was… “Joseph…  Joseph… Joseph… Joseph… Joseph… Joseph… Joseph” I think you get the point. The test works. Let’s try it with apple first. “Apple…  Apple… Apple… Apple” I’m imagining a person staring at an apple on a picnic table trying to call it to him or herself. Were you? Again let’s try it with seven. “Seven… Seven… Seven… Seven… Seven.” I think if I heard a person saying this over and over again in a campsite I might think they escaped the local mental hospital.

Of course I am pondering this same test as we try to pick a name for our child.