Wow! Just watched Jesus Camp over the weekend. If you have not seen it, it is a documentary about a fundamental Christian camp and the faith of the kids that are involved. The movie itself looks at a year in the camp and highlights a few of the kids and the youth director that puts on the camp.
So, if you haven’t seen it I don’t want to ruin it by giving up much of the plot from the movie. But I would like to give you a few of the lessons I learned from the movie.
Lessons learned:
Apparently the only way to worship God (in church) is by yelling and shouting for joy. You can’t be quiet or sing serenely.
Be slain or be slain.
Harry Potter is a warlock.
Warlocks are bad.
Ted Haggard was featured toward the end of the movie. If anyone didn’t see this coming, they should have watched this documentary.
Jesus tracks at a bowling alley is the best way to minister to the lost.
I live in a sick old world.
Mullets are good.
Brain molds can be used for ministering to kids.
Public schools suck for two reasons: 1) because they are public 2) because they teach about evolution.
Brittney Spears sings about girls and boys, not about God.
Children are great for brainwashing!
Science proves nothing – ever!
Sin often looks like a stuffed animal.
Global warming is stupid and way overrated.
God doesn’t like non-Christians - they are yucky.
Public schools went bad when they took prayer out of school.
Did I mention little fundamentalist Christian kids scare me?
Some other conclusions I found out from the movie:
Jesus must have been born in the good ole U.S. of A., because the United States is the only nation God blesses and everyone else is an enemy.
Jesus was definitely about war and not peace. Join the U.S. Army here.
God is not in every church.
Right now I am being judged by a nine year somewhere and being condemned to hell for not jumping up and down and shouting to God.
Ideas that I can apply from the movie:
I should buy some tracks and put them in soda boxes at the grocery store so people can find them when they buy their soda and then be saved when they read it. It is way easier than talking to them at a bowling alley.
Condemn everything that is not like me.
Harry Potter started global warming.
Jesus can’t come back until there is a Republican back in the white house.
And those are the lessons I learned from the movie. Hopefully you can learn your own lessons.
If you didn’t notice the sarcasm throughout this blog please read again.
1 comment:
Totally. Scary.
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